Tayo had always envisioned motherhood, a soft, nurturing presence in her life. But life usually has other plans. Her first marriage, a decade-long partnership, ended without the fruit of the womb. The years that followed were dedicated to building her thriving fashion business- a passion that filled her days and, she’d believed, her heart. Motherhood became a wistful “what if,” a gentle ache she’d learned to live with.
Tayo continued with her dream of becoming a parent, but as she approached her 40th birthday, she began to lose hope. After years of trying to conceive with no success, she was diagnosed with infertility. Devastated, Tayo was feeling like she had missed her chance at motherhood in her younger years, but she was not one to give up easily.
Then Segun came into her life, a chance encounter that blossomed into a deep and abiding love. Segun, who was a widower aged 46, already had two grown children. No problem, Tayo embraced his family, finding joy in the sumptuous lunches and the easy camaraderie. The topic of having their own child was a delicate one, broached with caution and mutual understanding. But they were happy, and contented.
They decided to explore other options, including adoption and fertility treatments and after much research and consideration, they decided to pursue in vitro fertilization (IVF). It was a long and challenging process, but Tayo remained determined to become a mother of her own biological children.
After several rounds of IVF, the couple finally received the news they had been waiting for – Tayo was pregnant. The joy and excitement she felt were indescribable. She knew without a doubt that this was her second chance at parenthood, and she was determined to make the most of it.
The unexpected positive result on the pregnancy test had felt like explosion in their quiet lives. Fear mingled with a hesitant, almost disbelieving joy. At 41 and pregnant for the first time, Tayo was acutely aware of the challenges, demands and the potential risks associated with later-in-life pregnancies. The initial weeks were a tightrope walk of anxiety, each hospital appointment a hurdle to clear.
Tayo described her pregnancy as a shock, a wonderful shock. There were moments of doubt, of course. She kept asking herself questions. Was she too old? Would she have the energy? Could she really do this? And many more questions. Segun was a pillar of unwavering support, her anchor. His calm reassurance and quiet excitement helped quell her fears.
The pregnancy itself was relatively smooth, barring the usual bouts of morning sickness and an overwhelming sense of fatigue. Yet, the societal whispers were there. Well-meaning friends and family offered unsolicited advice, often laced with concerning comments such as “Are you sure you have the energy for a baby at your age, Tayo? You’ll be chasing after a toddler when you should be thinking about retirement. The comments, though perhaps well-intentioned, did little to dampen her confidence.
Sometimes, it felt like she was an anomaly, other pregnant women at the antenatal clinic were mostly in their 20s and 30s, so she felt a little out of place, a latecomer to a club she’d almost given up on joining.
At 42, a time when many of her contemporaries were taking care of teenaged children or enjoying the quietude of their being at school, Tayo was only just preparing to start cradling an infant. As her pregnancy progressed, she experienced a range of emotions – from fear and anxiety to overwhelming happiness. She couldn’t believe that she was finally going to be a mother. They began preparing for the arrival of their little miracle, setting up the nursery and attending parenting classes.
When the D-day finally arrived, Tayo gave birth to a healthy baby boy – Elijah. The moment she held him in her arms, she knew that all the struggles and challenges they had faced were worth it. Tayo named him Elijah – “my God is Yahweh,” a reminder of the faith and perseverance that had brought him into their lives.
The arrival of Baby Elijah was nothing short of miraculous. Holding him for the first time, skin-to-skin, washed away all of Tayo’s doubts and anxieties. The exhaustion was real, the sleepless nights a stark contrast to her previous uninterrupted slumber. But the overwhelming love, the tiny hand gripping her finger, the soft sigh in his sleep – these were joys she had waited for, and they were more profound than she could have ever imagined.
As they watched Elijah grow and thrive, she felt grateful for the second chance she had been given. She knew that motherhood was not always easy, but she was determined to cherish every moment and be the best parent she could be. Tayo’s journey to parenthood had been long and difficult, but it had also been incredibly rewarding.
Parenthood at 40, Tayo discovered, comes with its own unique set of advantages. Her years of running a business have instilled in her a level of organization and resilience she might not have possessed in her twenties. Her life experience has given her a broader perspective, a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of time and the miracle of life. Segun’s maturity and experience have brought a calm and steady presence to their parenting journey.
Certainly, there are challenges, the energy levels aren’t the same as a younger parent. For instance, the recovery from childbirth took a little longer. Even as the thought of navigating school runs and teenage years in her 50s is a looming reality, Tayo faces these challenges with a quiet determination. She might not have the boundless energy of a 25-year-old, nevertheless, Tayo is assured of having a lifetime of love to give, a wealth of experience to draw upon, and a partner who is her rock.
Tayo’s story is a testament to the fact that the desire for parenthood knows no age limit. It’s a reminder that life’s most precious gifts can arrive in unexpected packages, at unexpected times. As she rocks her baby gently, humming a lullaby, the aroma of egusi soup now seems to carry a new fragrance – the sweet scent of second chances and the enduring power of love, proving that for Tayo, her journey into motherhood after 40 is not a late start, but a beautifully timed new beginning. The hopeful future she once only dreamt of is now nestled securely in her arms.
